I Came To Bring The PAIN

My Peoples, it’s no secret that PAIN is the People’s Game. Our community has asked us for certain features or types of gameplay, and we’ve taken that feedback and turned it into modes, characters, bug fixes, and so on. No doubt, continued development of PAIN is a time-consuming process filled with pitfalls and turmoil, but in the end, it seems to be working out for the best. We never seem to be able to give you enough content quickly enough, but we get some quality feedback every time we release new content (not just praise – constructive criticism is welcome, too).

PAIN was never designed with online play in mind. The sheer number of active objects flying around at any given time during a single launch is ridiculous to process, and then when you factor in the possibility of each of those objects hitting another object – perhaps an exploding one – the situation becomes even nuttier. With that in mind, we were a bit stupefied when the People said that they wanted PAIN online. That is by no means a small task, but somehow the evil geniuses at Idol Minds have managed to pull it off, and the patch is now live. The patch is free, and it will allow you to play all your favorite multiplayer PAIN Modes against your buddies online. You can get your text chat on, of course, but it wouldn’t be PAIN without being able to talk trash, so we’ve included voice chat as well. Personally, I think that getting a strike or even a spare in PAIN Bowling with Jarvis’ L2 + X pose says more than I ever could, but it’s your world.

We’re about to drop the Smack Pack on you (sold separately), which includes the Darts and Fortress game Modes. As I’m sure you know, traditional Darts wouldn’t be suitable for PAIN. We wouldn’t dare make something as simple as launching a character into an oversized dartboard. Instead, you have to launch you character toward a giant sticky billboard with multiple bullseyes painted on it, in the process grabbing another character (or bomb) and chucking it at the billboard. Sounds simple enough, eh? Oh, I forgot to mention the fact that your opponents have distractions to jack you up during your flight to the billboard. It makes it even more satisfying to clear the distractions and pull off a bullseye, so I hope your game is in order.

Fortress is the other half of the Smack Pack, and it pits you against up to three opponents, each of you with a giant fortress on a floating platform in the sky. On offense, your task is to aim at an opponent’s fortress, launch and grab an exploding object, and chuck it at their fortress to inflict maximum damage. Every bit of damage you do costs that player points, and when their score reaches zero, that player is eliminated. Obviously, we’d never make it easy for you to do something like that, so at the beginning of each game, every player gets a chance to select their defenses, which range from everything from reinforcements that toughen up your walls, to flying mailboxes and cereal that knock launching enemies out of play, to blue screens that fly up and take out enemies and/or their projectiles. Fortress is a blast to play (no pun intended), so make sure your trash talk is ready.

Like all of the current offline multiplayer Modes in PAIN, Darts and Fortress are playable offline, too. In both modes, the various objects and distractions in the game depend on the environment in which you’re playing. For example, if you’re playing Fortress in the Amusement Park, you’re grabbing and chucking exploding teddy bears. Likewise, if you’re playing Fortress in the Movie Studio, you might see some cameras being used to strengthen your opponents’ walls. Both Modes will be playable in all future environments as well.

As always, we look forward to hearing back from you all on online multiplayer once you get a taste. It’s a nice addition to the world of PAIN, and I have a feeling that everybody’s going to be “leveling up” their PAIN skills as a result of the new competition within the community. Let us know what you think. As always, we’re listening. So get out of here and GO ONLINE LATER TODAY!!!!!!