You know, zombies have to take a lot of heat from the living. I mean, is it their fault that they are doomed to roam the earth, lurching from brain to brain in a murderous rampage? They’re doing the best they can with the hand they’ve been dealt.
That’s why I’m asking you, the PS3 community, to welcome some zombies into your home this weekend. The Rezurrection DLC pack comes out today for Call of Duty: Black Ops, and it contains five maps that many will approach as a thrilling first-person horror experience – or maybe, just maybe, it could be a very special chance to connect with the dearly departed.
Four of the maps are a joyous reunion anyway; they’re upgraded and remastered versions of levels first seen in Call of Duty: World at War. There’s Nacht der Untoten, which some see as a desperate standoff in a dilapidated building, but could just be the perfect place for zombie peace talks. In Verruckt, how do you know the asylum isn’t just a nice, padded place for a zombie nap? Shi No Numa takes place in a swamp – a relaxing vacation spot for you to get to know your new friends. And Der Reise is a huge factory – basically, you’re inviting yourself into the zombies’ home. Be a polite guest by not blasting their faces off with a shotgun, huh?
The fifth map is all-new – a trip to the Moon, where you will be forced to interact with your zombie friends in a whole new way. Zero gravity looks like fun, plus you get to play with new toys like the Wave Gun and the Quantum Entanglement Device. Don’t you think your putrefying pals would like to have a turn, too?
My point is, this new batch of content represents a fantastic opportunity for greater understanding. The zombies are making the effort to be your friend – that’s why they’re stumbling directly toward you. They come bearing gifts! Who do you think suggested that Rezurrection include a free Zombies soundtrack and a Moon theme on PS3? And who said “Hey, if you already have the first four maps from the Hardened or Prestige Editions of Black Ops, you can download Moon, the soundtrack, and the theme for free?” That’s right. And think about how you’ve been repaying them for that kindness – with headshots. Splattery, splattery headshots!
Trying to eat your brain is just a zombie’s way of seeking knowledge, direct from the source. Tonight, grab the Rezurrection DLC pack and learn more about zombies — and give the zombies a chance to learn more about you. I think you’ll find that the screeching, lumbering undead are just like you and me; it’s what’s inside that counts. And since they’re zombies, you can easily see their insides.