Bryan Bernal here and I’m the Project Manager for Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time. Today I’ll be kicking off our second week of our five favorite weapons that didn’t make the cut for Captain Qwark’s My Blaster Runs Hot Weapons Contest Sponsored by Gadgetron. Without further ado, let’s get right to it.

The Sammich Gun

The Sammich gun is apparently what you get when you combine a Rocket Launcher, a Foreman Grill, and napalm-infused Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. While it not only kicks ass for its aforementioned components, the fact that it upgrades to the “Sub” Machine Gun only sweetened the deal for everyone. Unfortunately we had a hard time visualizing how real time digestive deformation via flesh melting napalm sandwiches would work.

I.B.S. (Irritable Bowel Shotgun)

Keeping with the tools of gastro-intestinal destruction theme was the I.B.S. (Irritable Bowel Shotgun). Could you imagine how insanely awesome this one would be? Sneak up behind a pack of Warriors, open with two shots of the I.B.S. and watch him go all Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber. If you were fast enough to tag the entire group with double shots, you might end up with a fecal fiesta that would leave our Audio engineering team scarred for life.

Arnold Schwarzeneggranade

Being from sunny Southern California, many of us at Insomniac have a strong affinity for the Governator (especially when parody is involved). Needless to say this weapon submission resonated with us and harkened us back to the Arnold soundboards of yore. I mean, who wouldn’t want to listen to “It’s Not A Too-mah!”…”GET TO THE CHOPPA!”…and “I’ll be back” for 8-12 hours straight?

Wait…Nevermind…

The TransVestor

We’ve never been opposed to putting our most beloved Ratchet and Clank characters in drag, and what better way to spread the androgynous love than a gun that morphs your foes into dominant X chromosome bearing versions of themselves? While this idea was awesome, it would be a pain to implement. For now, I’ll leave you with its exquisitely executed artwork (and if you look closely, it says there’s a button to apply eye liner and a birth mark mole – details for the win!)

And Finally…

The Freakin’ Shotgunchuck! (or as I call them, the “Boomchucks”)

So I know James posted this one last week – but come on, this is basically one of, if not THE coolest weapons in existence. James described it best when he said “take the best Zombie killing weapon in the world, and the best Ninja killing weapon in the world — COMBINE them and you have the Shotgunchuck.”

That said, some folks had trouble envisioning how this quadruple-barrelled body bag filler would actually be used in combat and how it would work with Ratchet’s core moveset… mere speedbumps on the road to greatness, I say. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be and the Shotgunchuck will now live on in the archives of the PSBlog…RIP.

That’s my five. Feel free to comment with your praise or disdain for my selections, but we’ll be back next week with another five from one of our co-conspirators at Insomniac.

-BB