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A Message from President Qwark

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A Message from President Qwark

Greetings Citizens!

As I sit here in my presidential compound, sipping a grubsnucker daiquiri and watching reruns of Unicop (now available for purchase on my holo-net site), I can’t help but reminisce about my rise to Galactic President of the Polaris Galaxy. Sure, some might say I was a bit callous in my ascension, but homicidal planet thieves aside, I think the whole thing went off without a hitch. The galaxy is safe, unemployment is at an all-time low, and my approval rating has never been… well, the galaxy is safe.

This era of awesomeness does come with some bad news, I’m afraid. It was brought to my attention that Insomniac Games decided to name my upcoming adventure Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One. When my agent finally returned my call and informed me that I had once again been excluded from the title, I was enraged. Not for myself, mind you – after all, what am I if not humble? No, my fellow citizen, I was enraged for you. How many years have you waited with bated breath for Captain Qwark to get top billing? How many times have you thrown your arms into the sky and called out “When is it going to be Qwark’s time?!”

Enraged by this injustice, I took my plight directly to planet Earth. A hotshot Sony producer named Greg Phillips informed me (between sips of an energy drink I’m fairly certain would be classified as toxic in my galaxy) that he personally named the latest game after his favorite R&B group. Victory, it seemed, was beyond my vice-like grasp.

Desperate, I took my fight to Ted Price himself. The Earthians had clearly established this man as some kind of king, or shaman warrior. He shrewdly offered me a chance to change the title of the game – but only if I vanquished him in a cage match using crude weaponry carved from tools found in the Insomniac broom closet. After three rounds and a few surgical strikes using my broom sword, I vanquished my opponent. Pinned under the might of my biceps, Shaman Price agreed to let me change the name to a title befitting of a revered galactic champion like myself. So today, before all of you, I reveal the new name of our upcoming adventure:

Copernicus Qwark's Awesomely Epic 3D Adventure Through Time & Space for PS3

I think we can all agree this title truly encapsulates the spirit of all that is great about this wonderful franchise. It obviously had a strong impact on the Sony marketing team, as my phone hasn’t stopped ringing since I scrawled it on a cocktail napkin after three whole minutes of brainstorming. If I ever return one of those calls, I’ll be sure to wish Kevin Butler a hearty “You’re welcome.”

So enjoy Copernicus Qwark’s Awesomely Epic 3D Adventure through Time and Space. Revel in the splendor of a third D, courtesy of your favorite superhero. For this will be the crown jewel in my long and illustrious career. Finally, my friends, it’s Qwark’s time!

Sincerely,
Copernicus L. Qwark

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87 Comments

  • day one purchase

  • OMG!!! I will DEF. buy it now!!!

    *Cough* nice one *Cough*

  • i’d buy that!

  • Dark_Fire_101

    About time Qwark gets what he deserves. Day after day, time after time I’ve been forced to lower my head in shame after seeing him not get the attention and recognition he ultimately deserves. It’s a disgrace to the entire universe, and I’m sure this is just the start of a new era in Qwark recognition.

  • I get it I get it… April Fools. *twirls finger*

  • Simply amazing.

  • Im looking forward to this game, great post!

  • Ratchetlombax

    Copernicus Qwark’s Awesomely Epic 3D Adventure through Time and Space is a day-one purchase for me too!
    Hoping there will be a Collector’s Edition with a 1:1 reproduction of Qwark’s famous blaster!

  • mw2<3

  • tonydamiani

    LOL Happy April Fools Day! :)

  • FINALLY! A game that has crotchetizer support! Where can I pre-order this thing?

  • JoKeR_CoLd96

    HAHAH! id definitely buy this! but it was for april fools day lol and i just noticed on the top right corner that 3 and a1/2 players can play LOL

  • TheAlbraskan

    This is now my favorite PSB post here. Also keep up the art Qwark, I better see an art gallery somewhere in this game. :)

  • MegamanXGold

    Honestly, I’m not that amused by this “April Fool’s.” In fact, I think that actually IS a better name than “All 4 One.” And while I think the solution is to come up with a better serious name, they SHOULD make a game for this character, release it as a $29.97 game, and ACTUALLY call it by that pretty little silly title right there. I could see it outselling All 4 One purely on the intentionally immature marketing.

    But then again, I also think Kevin Butler deserves his own PS3 game. XD

  • Please oh please let this be an additional available cover!

  • FINALLY!
    For the past years that i have been playing ratchet and clank games, i just have been saying to myself, ‘I wish there was a game solely based around Qwark’. This is exactly what i have been waiting for! All of the other Ratchet and Clank games are SOOO BORING! with Qwark, i am sure that the action will be ten trillion times better, and feature better character development, with a serious plot-line based around how bolts are destroying the economy, and the environment.

    Thank you Insomniac, and most importantly, Captain Qwark!

  • I would actually buy this game, too bad it isn’t real :(

  • lol will buy this

  • I just have one question. Its smell-o-vision what i imagine (smell effects)?, because if it is i need to purchase a gas mask for certain areas of the game. And only 3 1/2 players?

  • Quark man, you don’t need those Ratchet and Clank losers stinking up your game! They had..like 6 or 7 while all you had was some minigames in Up Your Arsenal :(. Time to go solo bro and save the world and galaxy from galactic menace #456712!

  • NamesIrish13

    DAY ONE BUY!!!!!

    Anything quark is for me! especially in 6D,3D, whatever D I am in that D!!!

    *wink wink

  • I love the 3 1/2 players mark in the upper right corner.

  • When i do buy the ‘real’ game i will print that cover out & put it in the blu-ray game box ;-D

  • Obvious troll is obvious.

  • butcherknife

    I know this is an April Fools Day joke, but I would probably buy a game with Quark as the lead. Sounds like fun.

  • No Move Support?

  • ****ers! I was pumped when I saw the box and then remembered… it’s April 1st… :(

  • i will offer all the power bestowing my awesome book i have yet to read calld wallet to obtain this game based on a thrue story

  • good job.. if only you’d stick to it lol

  • Christian399

    Look cute. Will probably buy this. A digital version would be nice, wish Sony would push for that more (see: DCUO and ME: 2).

    Still waiting on WKC 2 info… sigh…

  • MoneyMaker110

    where am i going to find half a player? now back to listening to all 4 one.

  • I will not fall for your tricks Copernicus Quark!!!!!!

  • Sweet! I was hoping a game came out soon so I can finally utilize my smell-o-vision!!! AWESOMESAUCE!

    :)

  • I pre-ordered this at 8:00 am and picked it up at 11:00. It is CopernEPICusly Qwarktastic and I can’t stop playing it! Oh yeah almost forgot, April Fools right back at ya PSBlog.

  • Finally! I’ve been really disappointed by the lack of support for the Crotchetizer peripheral. Glad to see you guys finally got your heads out of your… crotches?

  • ElektroDragon

    This is a big improvement over All 4 One.

  • Qwark FTW! It’s finally happening, man! The dream!

  • Smell-o-vision enhanced?! Lead the charge, Qwark, so Food Network can follow.

  • Ok so I know it’s a joke, but if this was the box art and name, I would display this in front of all of my games… like forever. Consider it.

  • Lol, 4 1/2 players.

  • Oops, I meant 3 1/2 ! =P

  • Despair-Amit

    I would buy this game :)

  • Lolz

  • ForeverVincent

    ROFLMAOL!!! 3 and 1/2 players! This got me laughing so hard I cried -siiiiigh- I would definitely buy this game!

  • digitalman123

    Online? Digital release? How’s about a Kevin Butler commercial?
    Nice April Fool’s Day joke guys!

  • digitalman123

    Definitely gonna pre-order via Grummelnet!
    Glad I voted for him…

  • I know that it a april fools joke. But sony really needs to look into this. alot of people hav been wanting to play a qwark game. as long as it over the top & full of stupid gags.

  • lol, If your listening Insomniac, That Qwark cover would be a nice Flip side/ inside cover in the Retail copies.

  • Limited edition cover please!!!!

  • TheGuardianFID

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you suck Quark you suck!!! 8P 8)

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