Knack 2

Apr 01

Apr 01

A Message from President Qwark

Copernicus Qwark's Avatar Posted by Galactic President

Greetings Citizens!

As I sit here in my presidential compound, sipping a grubsnucker daiquiri and watching reruns of Unicop (now available for purchase on my holo-net site), I can’t help but reminisce about my rise to Galactic President of the Polaris Galaxy. Sure, some might say I was a bit callous in my ascension, but homicidal planet thieves aside, I think the whole thing went off without a hitch. The galaxy is safe, unemployment is at an all-time low, and my approval rating has never been… well, the galaxy is safe.

This era of awesomeness does come with some bad news, I’m afraid. It was brought to my attention that Insomniac Games decided to name my upcoming adventure Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One. When my agent finally returned my call and informed me that I had once again been excluded from the title, I was enraged. Not for myself, mind you – after all, what am I if not humble? No, my fellow citizen, I was enraged for you. How many years have you waited with bated breath for Captain Qwark to get top billing? How many times have you thrown your arms into the sky and called out “When is it going to be Qwark’s time?!”

Enraged by this injustice, I took my plight directly to planet Earth. A hotshot Sony producer named Greg Phillips informed me (between sips of an energy drink I’m fairly certain would be classified as toxic in my galaxy) that he personally named the latest game after his favorite R&B group. Victory, it seemed, was beyond my vice-like grasp.

Desperate, I took my fight to Ted Price himself. The Earthians had clearly established this man as some kind of king, or shaman warrior. He shrewdly offered me a chance to change the title of the game – but only if I vanquished him in a cage match using crude weaponry carved from tools found in the Insomniac broom closet. After three rounds and a few surgical strikes using my broom sword, I vanquished my opponent. Pinned under the might of my biceps, Shaman Price agreed to let me change the name to a title befitting of a revered galactic champion like myself. So today, before all of you, I reveal the new name of our upcoming adventure:

Copernicus Qwark's Awesomely Epic 3D Adventure Through Time & Space for PS3

I think we can all agree this title truly encapsulates the spirit of all that is great about this wonderful franchise. It obviously had a strong impact on the Sony marketing team, as my phone hasn’t stopped ringing since I scrawled it on a cocktail napkin after three whole minutes of brainstorming. If I ever return one of those calls, I’ll be sure to wish Kevin Butler a hearty “You’re welcome.”

So enjoy Copernicus Qwark’s Awesomely Epic 3D Adventure through Time and Space. Revel in the splendor of a third D, courtesy of your favorite superhero. For this will be the crown jewel in my long and illustrious career. Finally, my friends, it’s Qwark’s time!

Sincerely,
Copernicus L. Qwark

Add Your Own

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Kingjing22 said:

April 1st, 10:26 am

FINALLY!! my Crotchetizer has just been sitting next to my PS3 gathering dust for the past six months. why the hell is Insomniac the first company to incorporate this thing? And why does it look like a blendersafsDSK0LXEW WTW7 Gsd hgfjihkg tfyhj

beam1249 said:

April 1st, 10:35 am

I wish this were real, this is a much better title than All 4 One and the boxart is pretty sweet as well.

MEATLOAF2 said:

April 1st, 11:01 am

Nicely done… nicely done.

manzoor47 said:

April 1st, 11:06 am

thank you Mr.President :).

Kchow23 said:

April 1st, 11:33 am

best box art EVER!

billyjimbob said:

April 1st, 11:40 am

Good to know you guys still have a sense of humor and please make that the official box art I love it. :D

FORMIK said:

April 1st, 11:41 am

The 1/2 player is for those that play as Clank, silly people.

zekececil14 said:

April 1st, 12:03 pm

Im confused. Is this an APRIL FOOLS joke, or is it a sweet minigame like My Blaster Runs Hot?

zekececil14 said:

April 1st, 12:08 pm

Make this a poster like in the original Ratchet and Clank. Which still proudly hangs on my wall.

Elsa said:

April 1st, 12:09 pm

I love you Captain Qwark! I want to have your babies! :)

thrawn3d said:

April 1st, 12:33 pm

ALL HAIL THE BENEVOLENT PRESIDENT QWARK!

Permafry_42 said:

April 1st, 12:45 pm

hells yeah!

Frulond said:

April 1st, 1:07 pm

Most of the time Qwark reminds me of KB XD

chouji2 said:

April 1st, 1:07 pm

A bunch of games come with alternate cover art on the inside of the package. they should totally do that with this so that we can use this way better cover if we want.

station3fever said:

April 1st, 1:14 pm

cool, it supports 3 and a half players. thats great since 1 of my friends is a half lol.

angelspawn77 said:

April 1st, 1:29 pm

I thought it was real at first, but then I read the article and realized he was just talking about All 4 One and then after reading the comments I remembered it is april 1st. That cover should definitely be an alternate, that cover is pretty awesome!

Kirkpad said:

April 1st, 1:40 pm

Funny, I almost thought this was real because it’s something I would buy.

MakoSOLIDER said:

April 1st, 2:11 pm

Great April Fools joke!

ioanina said:

April 1st, 2:13 pm

Ha ha ha! Nice try, President Copernicus Qwark! You ain’t foolin’ me. No offense, but I only see the real truth, and everybody knows you’re in All 4 One, not your silly made up game! Well, mostly everybody. Despite your foolish attempts on April Fools Day, you know that your jokes will never be taken seriously, not even on April Fools Day. Though, I am looking forward to your inevitable encounter with Dr. Nefarious. I thought for sure Ratchet and Clank finally defeated and destroyed him once and for all, but I strangely knew he would always find a way to return. BTW, if it were offically real, I would have been petrified. Sorry, but try to work on your material next year.

thecreekman said:

April 1st, 3:25 pm

can’t wait for this game

ClassicSpyroFan said:

April 1st, 3:52 pm

HA HA HA HA HA Good one!! But I would still buy it if that was what it was called. That cover is cool also, even if its on lined paper, drawn in crayon, and has stickers all over it.

wolfzero1 said:

April 1st, 4:02 pm

about time Qwark got his due, hopefully it’ll have a collector’s edition with a Qwark figurine

juanpipe said:

April 1st, 6:00 pm

My God, Quark, what have you done to Ted?! But oh well, it’s all for better.

Feisar said:

April 1st, 7:40 pm

You guys have to print this on the reverse of the cover so we can actually use it once we buy the game!

mobster3432 said:

April 1st, 8:21 pm

Im a first timer

jimmyfoxhound said:

April 1st, 9:06 pm

Make that a Limited Edition cover PLEASE! lol

Wozman23 said:

April 1st, 10:15 pm

Awesome! Finally a game where I can sit down and play with the cast of Two and a Half Men!

BalramRules said:

April 2nd, 6:31 am

april foolz iz soo luvly x))
loool, captain qwuak, i hate ratchet 2oo!!!
but da fing iz, if u h8 ratchet, u won’t kno jak bout who diz guy iz.
secondly, if u dnt h8 ratchet, u wont take hiz side, and perhapz hav good gamin taste, and wont buy diz game lool x)

only kiddin ;P
diz game soundz EPIC!!! :D

YungShep said:

April 2nd, 9:46 am

1 word..EPIC! LOL sign me up

YungShep said:

April 2nd, 9:47 am

LOL @ 58!!!!

Shocking4U said:

April 2nd, 10:30 am

please tell me this is the final box art. if not please make a collectors edition with this as the box art. it is to awesome to be an april fools joke

LordRaymond said:

April 2nd, 11:02 am

Yay Quark on the cover.

Destiny89 said:

April 2nd, 1:45 pm

I want this game!

SephyRocks88 said:

April 2nd, 3:28 pm

Oh-Yeah!! Ready to party hard on this game with 2 1/2 of my friends :P

BloodArm said:

April 3rd, 8:50 am

I would buy it! I support you!

Lucky13X said:

April 3rd, 11:58 pm

This is great. You should consider makign this a game like others have suggested.

xbskid said:

April 4th, 12:38 am

This should be on the inside of the BD-ROM case slip so fans can just reverse it for the Qwark version.

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