God of War

Apr 23

Apr 23

Divekick: The Roster So Far

Adam Posted by Creator, Divekick

Seeing a character is one thing. Playing as them is another. But really, what you want deep down, is to get to know each of the playable characters in a fighting game. What are their motivations, birthdates, likes and dislikes? Without this knowledge, how can you form the emotional bond needed to find success in Divekick? As such, we’ve collected each of the presently known characters’ bios for you — tune into twitch.tv/irongalaxy every Monday at 9:00PM CST for new character and content reveals.

Divekick on PSN - Dive


Health: 1,000 // Power: 1,000,000,000

Dive was raised in West Philadelphia with his fraternal twin brother, Kick. When trouble brewed at their local park, the boys’ mother sent them to live with their Uncle Sensei in Bel Air to learn how to Divekick. Dive strives to perfect the art of diving into the air, using his love of math to ensure that he is always at an angle that will lead him to victory. His massive study sessions and dedication to his schoolwork have left him with less time to focus on his kicking, however.

Date of Birth: 12/07/1988
Place of Birth: Philadelphia, PA
Blood Type: Type A
Likes: Math, Electronics, School Work, Hair Products, MSG
Dislikes: Uncomfortable Shoes, Dressy Shoes, #4, Forks

Divekick on PSN - Kick


Health: 1,050 // Power: 1,000,102,050

Kick was raised in West Philadelphia with his fraternal twin brother, Dive. When trouble brewed at their local park, the boys’ mother sent them to live with their Uncle Sensei in Bel Air to learn how to Divekick. Kick strives to perfect the art of kicking, and is sure that success on the Divekick circuit will help him launch a music career. His focus on chasing the local honies has lead him to neglect his dive training, however.

Date of Birth: 12/07/1988
Place of Birth: Philadelphia, PA
Blood Type: Type B
Likes: Women, Sneakers
Dislikes: Hoodies, Gang Violence, Mayonnaise

Divekick on PSN - Mr. N

Mr. N

Health: 600 // Power: 19,998

Uncle Sensei may have sent Mr. N to the losers bracket, but his career ended later that day after Mr. N paid a massive sum to have the brackets rigged in his favor. Officials noticed the foul play too late, and the tournament was in such disarray that the entire event was cancelled and everyone was disqualified. Unable to afford fees for the following year, Sensei was forced into retirement. Mr. N can usually be found riding to coattails of his best friend, upcoming Divekick superstar Dustin Weinburger, and is usually behind any sort of foul play that may occur at a tournament. Mr. N owes the mob a lot of money, and is constantly on the run.

Date of Birth: 01/23/78
Place of Birth: Houston, TX
Blood Type: Type B
Likes: Winning, Moba, Gambling, Girls
Dislikes: Keits, Giants, Animals, The Mob

Divekick on PSN - Redacted


Health: 1,800 // Power: 1,219,000,004

A pregnant Skunk Bear was forced to flee her Canadian homeland due to hunting activities. While traveling south, tired, hungry and alone, she drank some toxic waste that mutated her into a much larger, smarter form. She caught the scent of a very rare type of cigar and followed it to the hills of Bel Air, where she settled and now lives with her three Kits.

Date of Birth: 10/01/2000
Place of Birth: British Columbia, Canada
Blood Type: Unknown
Likes: The smell of Sensei’s Cigars, Chewing on Sensei’s Cigars, Stealing Sensei’s Cigars, Protecting her young, The smell of Jeans
Dislikes: Cajun spices, Swiss cheese, Anything with only one eye

Divekick on PSN - Kung Pao

Kung Pao

Health: 850 // Power: 1,697,800,913

The art of the Divekick is well known in a parallel dimension, called Downworld. Kung Pao is champion of this realm. Her strength, loyalty, dedication, and leadership may be unmatched, but her world has been overthrown by her evil step-father, Theodore Khan, and his army of color coded ninja thugs. She fought alongside a small but passionate group of rebels until she accidentally kicked a hole in the fabric of the universe and fell through it. She landed in this dimension and has thus far been unable to find a way home to save her friends, and her world.

Date of Birth: 49/87/230798
Place of Birth: Dragon City
Blood Type: Type O
Likes: Trampolines, Defending the weak, Her hat, Her friends
Dislikes: Theodore Khan, Color coded ninja henchmen, speaking slowly

Divekick on PSN - Dr. Shoals

Dr. Victoria Shoals

Health: 420 // Power: 400,680

Shoals is the youngest and brightest Podiatrist in her field. She works mostly in the sports medicine field, and spends time researching Ped Urino, a very rare infection seen only in the feet of professional Divekickers. Shoals wakes up one morning to find that she has somehow contracted Ped Urino, commonly called Foot Dive, on her face! She dons a mask and builds powerful iron boots to allow her to compete in Divekicking competitions, in an effort to get closer to the people she’d need to study to find the cure.

Date of Birth: 3/9/1977
Place of Birth: South Burlington, VT
Blood Type: Typo O
Likes: Athletic men, Professional sports, Academic writing, Taking notes
Dislikes: Forgetting anything, Mirrors, People who are not career minded

Divekick on PSN - Uncle Sensei

Uncle Sensei

Health: 1,100 // Power: 1,137,041,897

Uncle Sensei and his sister became obsessed with tournament Divekicking at a very young age, even before the sport had any popularity. After returning from the Invasion of Grenada, Sensei had finished his tour of duty and saved enough money to finally follow his dream. He purchased some land on which to build his Dojo and entered his first Divekicking competition. Shortly after, his 10 year winstreak helped to explode the sport’s popularity, but his inability to manage his finances left him broke and in early retirement after a mysterious disqualification. He now spends his days trying to earn what he can training Divekicking students at his Dojo, and doing his best to take care of his beloved nephews, Dive and Kick.

Date of Birth: 11/4/1960
Place of Birth: Clearfield, PA
Blood Type: Type AB
Likes: America, Divekicking, Food, Blue Grass, Family
Dislikes: Hunger, State Officials, Lawyers, The oversized rodent that keeps stealing his cigars

Divekick on PSN - Jefailey

Alex Jefailey

Health: 895 // Power: 40,800 – 1,000,000

Jefailey runs a large and well known series of Divekick tournaments called JEO (Jefailey Effort Orlando). Despite controversy, Jefailey likes to enter and compete at his own events. He views himself as his greatest promotional asset, and his growing ego has recently caused former allies to turn against him. He means well, however, and will continue to compete in order to get more people to buy badges for the next JEO event.

Date of Birth: 8/19/1982
Place of Birth: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Blood Type: Type O
Likes: Jemaniacs, Jebaiting, His bobble head, Money, Running tournaments
Dislikes: Jefailure, Collusion, On-site registration, Life altering Revelations

Add Your Own

I-Dusk-I said:

April 23rd, 11:36 am

Alex Jebailey — love it.

soundandvision77 said:

April 23rd, 11:37 am

You guys are nuts :)

Kchow23 said:

April 23rd, 11:37 am

Will the Giantbomb guys be characters in the game? :P

Guimace said:

April 23rd, 11:39 am

Kung Pao is mine! <3

Cyris said:

April 23rd, 11:41 am

Having a real hard time reading these descriptions here in The Lang Zone. All the letters keep spinning!

johnnyp70 said:

April 23rd, 11:41 am

This is the best sentence I have ever read in my life:

A pregnant Skunk Bear was forced to flee her Canadian homeland due to hunting activities.

Really, what else can be said to top that?

xClayMeow said:

April 23rd, 11:45 am

no more than $0.99 or GTFO

CaptainRadical said:

April 23rd, 11:48 am

How can I give you my money now to play this game?

SDC3 said:

April 23rd, 11:53 am

Game of the Year.

ZaGe-zAiKaNo said:

April 23rd, 11:55 am

Alex Jebailey lol. Seriously, Keits? I wanna know how this idea happened.


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 23rd, 12:08 pm

    Jebailey paid, and said “put me in the game.” He didn’t give us any stipulations, so this is what he got.

Maverick_fox1 said:

April 23rd, 11:56 am

Add some Gootalks, Mike Boss and Papa Valle and I’m in!

whiskey_14 said:

April 23rd, 11:56 am

I somebody else from west Philadelphia!!

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’

darkjester74 said:

April 23rd, 11:59 am

God damn you David Lang!

sdtfwret said:

April 23rd, 12:06 pm

>best friend, upcoming Divekick superstar Dustin Weinburger

Let’s go Justin!

SDC3 said:

April 23rd, 12:13 pm

Keits, do you mean that Jebailey was one of the $3,000 Kickstarter donors?

TournamentOfHate said:

April 23rd, 12:14 pm

The amount of thought that went into everything about this game is astounding. I’ve literally never been this excited for a game to come out!

afigueroa said:

April 23rd, 12:15 pm

This game is so out of whack I might be interested in the story line just because it is so far fetched!!
On a side note, fraternal twin brothers? Black and white? That is even more far fetched!! Momma probably dipped too many times in the cookie jar that one night!!


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 23rd, 12:24 pm

    Kick is Black, yes. Dive is Asian, however.

    Their mother, Mama Kick, can be seen in the Most of Our Days stage, and she is White.

toddythebody said:

April 23rd, 12:17 pm

I would like a refund from you thieves. The walking dead dlc I got isn’t labeled right. Just look at it. You’ll see. Yes, I have talked to support.

gastonly said:

April 23rd, 12:18 pm

Please, please announce that the game will retail for $8.95 — that would be a epic, LOL.

Pabloo1010 said:

April 23rd, 12:18 pm

lol wait a min, so what happened to Redacted’s child?


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 23rd, 12:24 pm

    Red has three Kits. They live with her in the hills of bel air near the New Angle Dojo.

Beyondthegrave07 said:

April 23rd, 12:29 pm

lol, Dive and Kick’s story is pretty much the Fresh prince of Bel-Air! (Imagines James Avery teaching the art of Divekick)

TheHeroicTaurus said:

April 23rd, 12:35 pm

Come on man when’s the release date? I wanna divekick Marn already.


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 23rd, 12:38 pm

    Summer 2013. We’d love to make it out before EVO, but no promises! We’ll ship it when it is done.

enjionPS said:

April 23rd, 1:19 pm

Not sure if I’m ready to be apart of the New Kicklennium yet.

Need more time, more training. I can only learn so much from studying character bios.

Any chance of a demo?

Mando44646 said:

April 23rd, 1:24 pm

I’ve never even remotely heard of this game. Is it for Vita?


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 23rd, 1:33 pm

    Playstation 3 and Vita this Summer! PC as well!

blakseed said:

April 23rd, 1:27 pm

This game looks so ridiculous that it’s genius.

plaztiksyke said:

April 23rd, 1:45 pm

Any GLBT characters?

Dionysus-Jones said:

April 23rd, 1:51 pm

Halifax, Nova Scotia?

I’m a bit in the dark about the development of this game, so please forgive my ignorance, but how did one of the best cities in Canada make into this character profile?


HardJoker said:

April 23rd, 1:56 pm

Now add Papa Valle, Dive Ross, Twotecks and Divego Bromehara and we’re all set!

birratucaX said:

April 23rd, 2:21 pm

Dat Marn Kreygasm

Sir_Selah said:

April 23rd, 2:25 pm


Alex Jebailey (Spelling? The guy the last character is based on.) is a major fighting game event organizer who was born and raised in Spryfield (Part of Halifax for those who don’t know.). :D

EmperorKorea said:

April 23rd, 2:31 pm

god, the art style for this game looks horrendous.

SHINOBI_3 said:

April 23rd, 3:17 pm

Batman divekicks in injustice, it would be awesome if there was “Batman” in this game.

Also, under Kung Pao, it says
Likes: Tampolines
i think its supposed to say trampolines

Shadowbhiemes said:

April 23rd, 4:15 pm

I wasn’t interested in the game before but reading these bios alone gave me a good hearty seaman’s laugh. I’m definitely buying the game now. Also, loving all the MK references in Kung Pao’s profile. I can’t wait to see who the hell the other characters are.

Genexi2 said:

April 23rd, 5:18 pm


I believe that’s the point. The game is just one large inside-joke turned-game turned actually-a-riot-to-play. The art is just icing on the cake.

Can’t wait for the Vita release.

PrinceofXIII said:

April 23rd, 6:56 pm

looks okay

Berae said:

April 23rd, 7:34 pm

No one from Quebec? ;)

The game is more and more interesting even if I dont even know what it is exactly loll

Zezzler said:

April 23rd, 7:36 pm

I have to say that when I first heard of this game, I was pretty skeptical, but it’s really grown on me, and looks like it’d be really fun actually. I hope to try it out sometime soon.

Kzayel said:

April 23rd, 10:45 pm

Hey Keits, how come Marn’s character model got changed?


    Adam "Keits" Heart said:

    April 24th, 8:21 am

    I’m not sure what you mean. We don’t have any characters called Marn.

ParkingtigersX said:

April 24th, 12:47 am

Roster lacks robots. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

GhostMachine1 said:

April 24th, 1:17 am

This game looks awesome. :)

Dionysus-Jones said:

April 24th, 3:54 am

@ Sir_Selah:


He and I are about the same age (if the listed birth date is real). Maybe I’ll check out my old high school year books to see if the name pops up, but at the moment the name (or face) doesn’t ring a bell. Thanks for the extra info.


KillaB43 said:

April 24th, 4:58 am

I’mma need that TriForce rival battle with Jefailey. Also where’s the People’s Champ Dive Ross?

wilfareus said:

April 24th, 9:09 am

can’t wait to play this on the Vita :D

Kzayel said:

April 24th, 6:44 pm

Ah sorry, sorry. Second attempt.

Hey Keits, how come Mr. N’s character model got changed?

Benmo316 said:

April 24th, 8:38 pm

Divekick is going to be a sleeper hit. After all of the previous Giant Bomb coverage I’m very excited for Divekick.

OGPodcast_iDB said:

April 27th, 5:30 pm

I love the John Cena wannabe.

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